Article
Assisted dying
Death & life
4 min read

Behind the data: the social messages physician assisted suicide sends to the autistic

If intense suffering caused by society drives autistic people to seek assisted death, then society has failed.
A hand rest gently on another outstretched hand.
Alexander Grey on Unsplash.

Statistically speaking, autistic people are far more likely to die by suicide than non-autistic people. They are also, statistically speaking, far more likely to die by physician assisted suicide than non-autistic people, in countries where this is allowed.  

For example, in a study of 927 people who sought physician assisted suicide in the Netherlands (where this is legal) 39 of them were autistic. That’s about four per cent, but the prevalence of diagnosed autism in the Netherlands is only one to two per cent. The researchers go on to note that 21 per cent of these 39 people cite autism or intellectual disability as the “sole cause of suffering” that had prompted them to request assistance to die.  

I don’t like speaking statistically. For a start, 21 per cent of 39 people is 8.19 people, which raises obvious questions. A little digging reveals that what the researchers mean really is eight people. Eight people with eight unique stories that include an account of autistic suffering so intense that they asked for help to end their lives.  

But we do not have those stories, not really. Included in the report are carefully anonymised excerpts from the physicians’ notes, and this is the nearest that we can get.  

‘The patient suffered from his inability to participate in society [ … ] [He] was not able to live among people, because he was easily overstimulated. This made him isolated’ (2019 (22), male, 70s, ASD) 

‘The patient had felt unhappy since childhood and was persistently bullied because he was just a bit different from others [ … ] [He] longed for social contacts but was unable to connect with others. This reinforced his sense of loneliness. The consequences of his autism were unbearable for him [ … ] The prospect of having to live on in this way for years was an abomination to him and he could not bear it’ (2021 (26), male, 20s, ASD) 

The debate about legalising physician assisted suicide in the UK is ongoing, and the British Medical Association have provided a helpful guidance document which sets out the main arguments, both for and against, without making a recommendation either way. In the document, they observe that the reasons people ask for assisted suicide are predominantly personal and social, not clinical, and also that “laws send social messages.” I agree that laws do that, and I also think that those seeking assisted suicide send social messages too.  

For example, even just from these two tiny excerpts, I hear that a life worth living is one where people can participate in society and have social contacts, even if they are a “just a bit different from others.” It would be good to hear more. It would be good to sit down over a cup of coffee with each of these two men and ask them all my questions about their lived wisdom when it comes to autism.  

I could ask “2019 (22), male, 70s, ASD”: 

What causes the overstimulation - are there places where you don’t feel that?  

Can we create more such places for autistic people to socialise?  

And I could ask “2021 (26), male, 20s, ASD”:  

What makes you feel different?  

What kind of social contacts and connections do you think that you are looking for?  

But of course, I can’t do that, because these two men have been assisted to die.   

The word ‘welcome’ is striking to me here. What does it mean to welcome someone, not to merely include or tolerate, but to really welcome someone. 

When approached for comment, autistic theologian Claire Williams said:  

‘There is something of a personal and social tragedy reflected in these cases. If we understand that much of the difficulty that autistic people suffer is caused by society – as per the neurodiversity paradigm – then it is the case that these two nameless men were failed by society. They felt that their lives could not find a place in an unwelcoming world. It is, of course, their choice to end their lives but I do also think that God chose to start their lives and finds them to be infinitely valuable. They were both made in God’s image and reflect something of it. That they felt there isn’t a place for them that is suitable is a tragedy because society should do better to welcome them.’ 

The word ‘welcome’ is striking to me here. What does it mean to welcome someone, not to merely include or tolerate, but to really welcome someone, even if they seem ‘a little bit different from others’? Dr Léon van Ommen, another theologian who writes about autism, suggests that it is a matter of making oneself and one’s resources fully available to that person, to the point where they feel that you belong to them. This is not to promote relationships with unhealthy power dynamics, but to highlight that when a person feels truly welcomed by another, they feel the opposite of owing a debt or being a burden – they feel they are of value, that you would be lacking something without them.  

I feel we are lacking something without you, “2019 (22), male, 70s, ASD”. And I feel we are lacking something without you, “2021 (26), male, 20s, ASD”. Not to forget the 37 others who are a little like you. We can pause to reflect on the social messages that you have sent, what you are teaching all of us about what it means to live a “good” life. But I am sorry that you have all died now and we cannot hear more.   

Whether people in the UK should be able to choose physician assisted suicide, I, personally, am not yet sure. Like the BMA, I see and respect the very good arguments both for and against. But eight people have chosen physician assisted suicide due to autism or intellectual disability, and when it comes to the social messages that sends, I feel compelled to sit down and listen.  

Article
Ageing
Care
Change
Death & life
6 min read

A Tolkien poem helps a nurse understand the ravages of dementia

'Not all who wander are lost.'

Helen is a registered nurse and freelance writer, writing for audiences ranging from the general public to practitioners and scientists.

An elderly woman wearing headphone looks up and to the side with a big smile.
Playlist for Life

Not all who wander are lost.

Often written on a care home wall, on an inspirational poster, these words are usually set against a forest background, or compass, for added effect. They have also been used as the title of a conference paper discussing so-called smart trackers for people with dementia, whilst, Not all who wander need be lost is the title of a concise guide to navigating the heartbreaking challenges when a loved one is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease or other dementia.

As a care home nurse for more than ten years, I have seen residents wander - not lost but “walking with purpose”, as it is sometimes known in the caring community. “Nobody gets up and walks without a reason,” says Suzanne Mumford, Care UK's Head of Nursing, Care and Dementia; perhaps they are easing pain, or boredom, or looking for something that they can’t describe. I remember residents exploring, enquiring into self-made mysteries solvable only by themselves, examining everything from door handles to another resident’s buttons, even escaping with surprising speed. Walking with them, often in silence, can bring a sense of relief, comfort and companionship.  

What I didn’t know was that this is a quotation from a poem by JRR Tolkien, published in The Fellowship of the Ring seventy years ago. The actual line is - “Not all those who wander are lost”. 

All that is gold does not glitter, 
Not all those who wander are lost; 
The old that is strong does not wither, 
Deep roots are not reached by the frost. 
 
From the ashes a fire shall be woken, 
A light from the shadows shall spring; 
Renewed shall be blade that was broken, 
The crownless again shall be king.” 

We first hear this poem in Chapter Ten of Book One, as Frodo reads it in the postscript of a letter from Gandalf. As I read it, the imagery of being lost, withered, frost-bitten, in darkness, burned and broken, speaks something, in poetic picture language, of the ravages of dementia, the harrowing losses, the valley of tears. It brings to mind residents unaware of familiar objects or surroundings, looking straight through loved ones without a flicker of recognition, losing also language, continence, mobility and the ability to swallow. 

The TV presenter Fiona Philips recalled an agonising decline in her mother as she succumbed to Alzheimer’s, describing how, in the final stages, her mother “spent whole chunks of time just sitting and staring ahead, only able to give out a series of sounds”. Fiona herself now lives with dementia. “'It’s devastated my family and it’s the biggest health and social care challenge we face as a country,” she says. 

I once interviewed retired doctor Jennifer Bute, who lives with dementia. She talked of time travel (perceiving herself as living in a time from her past); disorientation to place and person; frightening hallucinations when old memories are seemingly ‘unlocked’; and ‘emotional unzipping’ when agitation and anxiety increase, often in the late afternoon or evening in something poorly understood as a symptom, known as ‘sundowning’. 

Yet there is something more to this poem – each of the pains has a promise – not all who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; and, most poignantly, deep roots are not touched by the frost. In dementia, it is true that deep roots are untouched, that an enduring aspect of a person’s identity never truly withers, though it may be mostly unseen. Something remains. Oliver Sacks the famous neurologist emphasised that, even in the late stages of Alzheimer’s, the person is still ‘alive inside’ (the inspiring documentary with this title is recommended). In stunning real-life stories, he has shown how music appears to ‘call back the self’, awakening moods, memories and thoughts that had seemingly been lost. He refers to music’s extraordinary ‘neural robustness’ and describes one man, unable to tie his tie or find his way to the stage, yet able to perform a perfect piano solo. In one life-affirming, must-watch, tear-jerking video, gospel music was shown to enliven, calm, focus and engage a man simply known as Henry.    

Watch Henry

Singing can “provide islands of arousal and awareness like nothing else can”, according to Alicia Clair, Professor of Music Therapy. I’ve seen singing bring the person into the present for a passing moment, illuminating a face that seemed far away. One otherwise-silent lady completed the chorus of ‘Daisy, Daisy’ before descending into dementia again. Others have laughed, clapped, danced, embraced and even shed a silent tear during music therapy sessions, when music elicits memory. Doll therapy meanwhile has sometimes restored and revealed a sense of nurture, purpose, care and pride, with residents feeding their new friend before accepting their own food, folding its clothes and taking care of it cradled in their arms. Though it divides opinion, a doll can preserve dignity if it de-escalates agitation or engagement in physical or verbal abuse; a sense of dignity also comes from the person being able momentarily to give care rather than receive it. 

“From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken,” continues Tolkien's poem, and, though not the original intention, these powerful images of renewal and restoration paint a picture of something known as “paradoxical lucidity”, or unexpected cognitive lucidity and communication in some patients with severe dementia, especially around the time of death (though sometimes long before).  

Anecdotes are recorded of “unexpected, spontaneous, meaningful, and relevant communication or connectedness in a patient who is assumed to have permanently lost the capacity for coherent verbal or behavioral interaction due to a progressive and pathophysiologic dementing process”.  Some scientists are seeing them as a paradigm shift in the understanding and perhaps even treatment of dementia. I will never forget when a woman in the late stages of dementia, with little spoken language, was brought back to the nursing home weeks after hospital admission; she had been perilously ill. With bright eyes, she took my arm and, as if the mist had cleared for a moment, spoke warmest words of thanks to me for helping her on the day she collapsed. In another fleeting and irreproducible moment, a lady wished me happy birthday, before continuing her silent walk around the home. Witnessing such an event is ethically and emotionally transformative. 

The concept of remaining ‘alive inside’ even when abilities, language and memory are eroded by dementia is taken to the next level in Christianity, which teaches that life continues even after death itself. The Bible speaks of new life beyond the grave; the fire shall be woken, a light shall spring. And there will be a crown (and the gold will glitter). The Crown of Life is referred to, being bestowed upon "those who persevere under trials." Dementia is one of life’s severest trials; a cross to bear. In the 1912 hymn “The Old Rugged Cross”, another cross is spoken of, being the cross of Christ at his crucifixion. Clinging to that cross, living out a Christian life, the hymnwriter wrote of “exchanging the cross for a crown” at life’s end. After ashes, hope awaits the Christian. 

 

Playlist for Life is a charity encouraging people to create playlists for people living with dementia.